you have so consistently harassed. You have repeatedly, and without regard for others, sought out the crotchal areas of nearly everyone in my life: Complete Strangers. Friends. Family. And who could forget poor Grandma. That was one of the worst Christmases we’ve had. And that’s saying something, because we both know there have been some bad ones in this family.
In conclusion, this letter serves as your final warning to discontinue your crotch-sniffing conduct. You must stop this undesirable behavior, or at the very least, just sniff my crotch when no one else is around. In order to confirm your compliance, I ask you to sign this letter below my signature.
I will see you in a few minutes when it’s time for your dinner and walk.
Sincerely,
My Crotch
P.S. Full disclosure: I wore a dress today and I recently went to the bathroom. Despite these two pieces of information, I truly hope you will behave in a considerate manner.
- P.P.S. Also I overslept this morning and did not have time to shower. Please do not allow this to affect your ability to respect my boundaries.
